The First Time Out

Dear Connor,

You had your first time out at preschool this week. You've been going to preschool since you were two and this is the very first one you've ever had and you took it really hard. I could tell something was wrong when I picked you up from school. Then in the car you told me, "I got a five minute time out today."

I asked you what happened and then Hunter chimed in with the whole big story about how you jumped on his back on the playground and the teachers made you sit by the fence for five minutes. Then we had this conversation:

"Connor, why don't you tell me what happened."
"Hunter just told you."
"I want to hear it from you."
"OK. I jumped on his back."

You had so much attitude in that little voice it was actually hard not to laugh. We told you if there was a time out at school that meant a consequence at home and so I told you that your consequence would be going to bed twenty minutes early and missing Ninja Turtles. You were so upset. We ended up having to call Daddy and have Daddy try to calm you down from work. You were a little better after naps but still upset about getting in trouble. Daddy and I felt bad that you put yourself through so much mental anguish that we decided to tell you we were proud of you for telling us you got a time out on your own and for admitting your mistake and we were going to let this one be a lesson all on its own and allow you to watch Ninja Turtles. I've never seen you smile so big.

Fast forward to the end of the week. It was about an hour before school and I asked you and Hunter to do your homework. You both said you didn't want to. I told you that it was your choice to do your homework or not. You specifically told me that you didn't want to miss out on your play time and you were choosing not to do it. I just said ok and left it at that. While you were in preschool Daddy and I talked about it and came up with a plan. When we picked you up we asked you if you got a sucker for turning in your homework.

"No. I didn't do my homework. Remember?"
"Oh that's right, you didn't want to miss out on your play time."

Daddy then goes on to inform you and Hunter that we would not be making lunch when we get home because we did not want to miss our play time. The rest of the conversation was happening very quickly with Mommy and Daddy both trying to make our point, you were trying to find a loop hole, and Hunter was listening intently. This is  basic gist...

"Then who will make me lunch?"

"You will."

"Then how will I watch TV?"

"You'll have to get your lunch made quickly I guess because you might run out of time to watch TV since it's almost nap time."

"Well I guess I won't take a nap then so I can watch TV."

"That's a choice you'll have to make, but if you don't take a nap you don't get to go swimming tonight."

"That's not fair."

"It's not fair that Mommy and Daddy always have to be responsible but you get to play all the time."

"Then I just won't eat lunch and I'll watch TV."

"You could do that, but you'll be awfully hungry. What do you think your body needs more, TV or lunch?"

"Fine. I guess I'll just go straight to sleep with no lunch or TV."

"These are all valid options Connor, you'll just have to decide what the most responsible thing to do is."

"Well, I know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"I'm not sure if we have any bread, but you can check when we get home."

"We could stop at the store and get bread on the way home."

"We could, but then I'd miss my play time. I don't want to stop at the store. I just want to go home and play."

"THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT?"

"I'm not sure."

When we got home, I began making Kaylee's lunch and Daddy made a big scene about how he was going to go play because he didn't feel like making any lunch. Hunter began getting a chair to bring into the kitchen so he could make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We did have bread to everyone's relief. I had the jar of peanut butter in my hand and you asked, "Can I have that?"

I told you no because I was using it but you could have the very next turn with it. That sent you over the deep end. The next thing I knew you were sitting on the stairs in full pout mode and there were two slices of bread sitting on the ground in front of the fridge. I almost stepped on them just so I could tell you it wasn't a good idea to leave the bread on the ground in front of the fridge but I didn't want a complete melt down so I just told you it was a bad idea and warned you someone might step on them.

I'm not sure how you actually ended up with a sandwich on your plate and in front of the TV, but you did in fact get your own lunch made and you got to watch your show before nap time. You were pretty proud of yourself. Daddy and I thought the whole thing was rather funny, and we're not anticipating any more issues with choose "not" to do homework for awhile.

I love you sweet boy. All the time. Regardless of a time out at preschool, or when we're learning lessons the hard way- I always love you.

Mommy.