The first presentation

Dear Connor and Hunter,

You had your first presentation at school last month. It was so adorable. We had the option of doing individual projects or a family project so we chose to do a family project. We spent several weeks reading Roald Dahl books and we made a poster board presentation about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the BFG.

On the way to the presentation you were so nervous. There were tears. Hunter did not want to do it at all. Connor was getting anxious. I just kept reassuring you. There were about 10 kids in our group that were presenting. Everyone had their parents there to watch. It was a big crowd for you two.

You watched a few other kids present and it built Connor's confidence enough that when asked who would like to go next Connor threw his hand up in the air. Hunter was mortified. You went up there and got off to a slow start but after a minute the two of you just took off. You were taking turns telling all the juicy details of the books and everything you'd learned about Roald Dahl. You were coaxing each other to tell the audience more. You were making everyone laugh. Your presentation, in my opinion, was the very best.

After the presentation we went out for donuts. It was a super fun morning and I can't wait until next years! 


Love,
Mommy

He's a walker!

Dear Rusty,

My goodness you are growing up so fast! You are officially walking. You walk all over the house and you are so proud of yourself. You took your first step at 8 1/2 months. It was fun watching you figure out how to walk. Every day you took a few more steps. Now you practically run around this house. Nothing gets in your way. Heaven forbid we leave a gate open and you are racing for it. You love to climb the stairs and are really fast at it. We're trying to teach you to come down but you are still working on it.

You eat so much. I don't know where you fit it. You always have a mouth full of food and both hands loaded for the next bite. You eat everything! Well, you hate pickles. I gave you a pickle one day and it made you very angry. It was really funny.

You are just the cutest little boy in the world. That red hair, those blue eyes, and that mouth full of teeth... I just can't get enough. We kiss you all the time and as a result you kiss us all the time. We love it but we have to brace ourselves for the drool because there is a lot of drool involved in one of your kisses!

You want to talk. You say this, all done, and bye bye. Of course you say Da Da. We won't go in to how crazy it drives me that you won't say Mommy. hee hee.

You sleep in bed with Daddy and I. You actually aren't near the bed hog that your siblings were although I would like you to move to your crib soon. We almost had you there until Mommy got sick and then it was just easiest for Daddy to throw you in bed with him and we haven't started the transition back yet. Although, you are protesting bed time in a major way right now. Arching the back, crying, screaming...You may find yourself in your crib crying it out for awhile if you don't give up the fight pretty soon. Who am I kidding. You'd cry in your crib for a whole minute and I'd probably rescue you.

I love you so much- every little thing about you....love.
Mommy

Mean Mommy

Dear Bubbas,

It has been a pretty awful couple of months around here. It started when Mommy stopped taking her anxiety medication. I had several reasons for doing so. All of which at the time seemed legit. I lasted almost three months before it started to hit. I fought Grump for a long time. Except, I was losing the battle- daily. It got to the point where I couldn't keep it together anymore and I went to the doctor to get my medication. Unfortunately, you kids take the brunt of my anxiety outbursts. I thought I was doing pretty well not taking it out on you until one day when I said, "Mommy doesn't feel good so I need you to be quiet and play nice while I rest with Rusty."

Hunter responded, "Oh good. I'm glad. You haven't been very nice to us lately."

In the moment I was so mad at Hunter. Sighing and rolling my eyes I went to rest. Then just a couple hours later I found myself in the Emergency Room getting told I needed an appendectomy. I ended up being in the hospital for 6 days. All I could think about when I was in the hospital was what Hunter said. The day after my surgery my blood pressure was really low and I wasn't doing very well. I kept praying to God," Don't let it end like this. I can do better. I don't want to be remembered as mean mommy. Let me get it right first."

Well, it was a pretty awful road to recovery but we've been playing coin battle and cards together. Every day we get along a little bit better. I'm back on my anxiety medication and don't have any intentions of ever coming off it. I never want anything to get in the way of my being able to show you how loved you are again.

Through this whole miserable mess of a year I think I've come to the conclusion that we can always do better. We're never going to "get it right". Thank you God for knowing that and sending Jesus to pay the price for us. His grace and mercy are undeserved and never ending. There will be times in this family where one or all of us needs undeserved grace and mercy from each other and my hope is that we are a family that will give it abundantly.

I love you so much. I always love you- even on my darkest days. Thank You for loving me too.
XOXO
Mommy